Is It Even Worth it?

Well, well, well, what has the moment come to?
Does your own body think about you?
Probably not cause the eyes always get wet,
It’s like disappointment is always being set.

Is it even worth it to actually express?
Or is it better to know how to suppress?
It must be easy to suppress, as the brain has nothing.
Because the heart has let go of everything.

Is it even worth expecting care?
Or just take everything and have a fake smile, and you are unaware?
I think I need not act unaware; my body handles that alone,
I scream until it hurts, and still I echo on my own.

Is it even worth it to think till the head is about to burst?
My nervous system has never been at rest.
It is like something is in the head asking me to push push push,
Only to mock me in the end with a silent, heavy hush!

Is it even worth it to express something that is eating you?
Because the world listens and says, haha, here is the attention, boo!
My thoughts have become my own bully, like a punchline for everyone,
Making fun of the damage soaked in, that can never be undone.

I’m the actor, the audience, the stage, with a lot of fears, 
Laughing at the irony in silence, while choking on the tears.
I’m a mess of everything, like a joke that has already been told,
Watching everything in me break with mocking as I unfold.

Is it even worth it to cry every night with thoughts?
Just like a war ritual, sacrificing my self-worth in all the fights.
I thought War Cry was meant to scare the enemies away,
Never knew it’s like watching the battle of emotions every day.

Is it even worth it to find the reason for the mess?
Or is it my brain playing an emotional game of chess?
Is it me, or the world inside and outside is chaos?
I’m I doing a random rant, or do I even have a case?

There is no evidence to even make a point,
Even if you ask something, my mouth might go mute.
People might think he is enjoying the silence,
But little do they know my brain has emotional violence.

Is it even worth it to pray when I know it is all a lie?
Maybe that is the reason I’m meant to feel sorrow till I die.
Hey diety, in case you are hearing, and I’m meant to be alone,
My only request to you would be take away the desire to love.