The Polite Way to Break a Person

You walk into a house the way you always do. You take your shoes off. Leave them outside. The walls look familiar. There sit people who think proximity is consent, relatives. The kind who turn looking into judgment. Captain obvious, reporting for duty. Your body is what they notice first. It is like your body is introducing you to them. The house is a place where people who know you wait for you, and your body is what they see when you get there.

Who cares about how the person is doing right? Screw the social cue for asking “how are you?” The important thing is to touch the belly and measure its distance. How similar does it look to the next round thing, and how much mocking can it take in the first fifteen seconds?

Hello is optional
Assessment is not
You may be a teetotaller
But for them, your house is being supplied with beer
Instead of water.

One morning starts exactly like any other. A towel is clutched in one hand, the floor is still cool to bare feet, and the house is quiet as always. A phone call is already in progress. A voice trails in from across the room. It is not intended for the man standing there, which somehow gives it more impact. There is no warning, no lag, just the voice carrying through the air with complete freedom. The room remains perfectly ordinary. The experience does not. The body is aware of what is happening in the voice before the mind has a chance to put its finger on it, and suddenly, the morning that was harmless moments before feels weighted with wrong.

There is a discussion of distance. Of vehicles and space.
And then a sentence comes along it just shows up without worrying about who’s in the room, the sentence just lands.
It is better if they come by automobile.
Too much space otherwise.
No anger. No insult. No pause to look. Just logistics, spoken with confidence.
Something inside shuts off.
Not in protest.
In confusion
It might be true
Space is limited
But truth spoken without seeing
Becomes something else.

Even the towel in the hand is surprised, and it went and hugged the ground immediately, but who does the weight hug? It can’t even wrap its arms around itself as it’s not aesthetically pleasing. The weight has a weight now? But who cares, it’s not pleasing.

It wasn’t said to someone.
It was said about Someone.
Like luggage.
Like weight.
Like an inconvenience.
But who cares? The function is important.

The conversation keeps moving. It always does. Work comes up coz it’s important to judge things when the person is not present. Night shift is bad because, obviously, you will be planning heists and committing crimes. Who works at night? It’s the time you are supposed to act like you are falling asleep, hug the pillow, and cry, or be a “man” and abuse people online.

It’s not like higher-level directors, senior IT professionals, and CEO;s do it right? Oh yes, they do, but nobody panics there, because money edits the sentence before it reaches morality.

Same behavior.
Different respect.
Suddenly safe.
Suddenly impressive.
Same schedule
Different income
Different tone

Beliefs come next cause how can you not believe in something everyone is so passionate about? It’s not like your parents have stripped out your interest in joining an art school and haven’t shown interest in your passion, right? Oh wait! Never mind, they are elder so yes believes are important, don’t question.

What you believe matters less than how well you perform it. How much obedience you show, how many times have you bent over to touch someone’s feet, matters a lot, because its divine earth Energy oozing through the feet.

And God forbid you don’t go to a function or an event that you are not interested in. How dare you? Can’t you see you have become a tool for two people to bitch about you? Didn’t you bring this on yourself? Now don’t cry, saying, “but two people talking badly about me is not my fault,” okay? It is clearly yours, as you didn’t show up.

You should have known better.
You should have planned your life
around their convenience.

You can’t send money to a guy who wants to drink? Isn’t it your responsibility to ensure an addict is getting their high? What savings? What freedom? Clearly, you are acting out of privilege, do some OT’s its all good as long as you show up as a “hero” with money and make them dance in the rain of alcohol.

You think it stops here? It doesn’t. That would be inefficient. When correction stops working, it expands. From what you do to who you are. From behavior to character. Thinking becomes suspicious. You are corrected for that.

Behavior is corrected.
Character is adjusted.
Thinking is monitored.
The words sound kinder.
Nothing changes.

At some point, the way people correct each other changes. Nobody shouts or mocks anymore. Cruelty hits better when it sounds polite. The tone becomes nicer, and everyone suddenly sounds smart, fair, and modern. This is where people feel proud of themselves. They think they have grown. But nothing really changes. You would see the same WhatsApp sexist jokes being forwarded to the same comments when a woman tries to exist outside their frame. Don’t ask why, coz obviously culture, duh!

Men are very helpful at this stage. Very helpful. They mansplain feminism slowly, like they are teaching nuclear physics to an unborn child. They break independence into small parts so it feels cozy, like “yay, we have freedom.” They time emotions, teach tone, and dialect. They speak for women who did not ask them to speak. They do a big dance and call it support. They expect appreciation for it because in their heads, they really did something.

Who needs real feminism when men already know how to deal with people who don’t stay in their narrow frame? First, they ask nicely and name it advice. When that fails, they call it concern and don’t refuse to be loud. When that fails, they call you names. When that still doesn’t work, they suddenly remember how much power they have. Now talking is optional; it is now to threaten and to warn. To remind you of what happens to people who don’t obey them

This doesn’t just happen to women. It happens to anyone who refuses to accept these men. And who exactly is supposed to stay quiet when someone dares to disagree with them? It’s not like we live in some calm, civilized society anymore, right?  Everything they don’t like becomes a joke. Men who support equality,  Queer people wanting love, trans people existing, and even the word feminism. To these men, all of it is funny because in their world, everything exists for them. Be it People, Ideas, emotions, and even disagreement. All of these are to please them.

Treating people as equals is glorified as something outworldly, as if we are not all human. People praising basic decency like we just achieved something great for humanity makes the world feel like a dystopian film. Watching someone say “aww” because another person acted human makes you want to pinch yourself. Yes, this is real. This is the bar. How unfortunate.

Politeness does what cruelty used to do
Smiles now give orders
Equality is praised only when it stays quiet
Freedom is allowed if it does not make noise
Some bodies have to say sorry for being here
Some voices are told to lower themselves
Kindness is treated like a big achievement
And power watches, pleased

Whatever we have been talking about might look like convenience. It is not. It is power. From turning a person into weight, to finding someone new to correct or make fun of. It is the same hunger, the same pleasure of feeling powerful. Power wants to feel taller by making someone else feel like they do not exist. It does not need institutions to survive. It lives in minds, in hierarchies, in families, in concern, in advice, and even in emotions. It shows up whenever someone decides they get to control or reshape another person’s moment or life.

If you think power only lives with politicians, CEOs, and executives, you are wrong. You trusted people to be smart and empathetic, and that was the mistake. Just open social media, and you can see the world is busy auditioning for some fake version of a primal human. Not sure what they wanna dominate with those instincts, them thinking they will become Tarzan, but governments are busy with deforestation. The irony writes itself. Real primates fought to survive, not to show off.

Power does not come to teach or care. It comes to rewire. It does not care what you want; all it does is ensure that you fit into a certain frame. To do that,  it pushes, mocks, jokes, and corrects. It makes people smaller and calls it convenience. They will name it culture,  concern, care, and shit covered in gold, magnifique!. But on the other side of it, it still feels like being manipulated into a situation where you don’t wanna be.

Isn’t it beautiful
How everything hurts so politely
Isn’t it kind
How control wears a smile
Isn’t it thoughtful
How people shrink you for your own good
Isn’t it culture
When someone else decides your shape
Isn’t it wonderful
As long as it is happening to someone else.